theENGR's CORNER

Theoretically speaking, according to Erik Erikson’s stages of the human psychosocial development, it is in the stage of Intimacy versus Isolation that people tend to look for affection and belonging from the opposite gender, either to enjoy the intimacy of getting into a romantic relationship or to savor the joy of being single. It is where one questions, “Will I be loved or will I be alone?”. I have read a lot as in A LOT of books and watched a lot of movies about relationships. Let’s not deny the fact that it’s a good feeling to fall in love, such a bliss and a glimpse of heaven. Euphoric. The joy of having to hold someone without owning them is what mature love is about. Everything feels so right, everything feels magical. Everyday is another day to be inspired. That wonderful feeling inside. The excitement of having butterflies in your stomach. Stammering speeches. Breathtaking moments. Hearts skipping a beat when you are with that person. Very exquisite. Very true. Just imagine how two strangers exactly of different characteristics tend to fall for each other. Opposites do attract as they say. Some tend to fall for those with the same interests where compatibility is another love story. Bottomline, we don’t choose whom we fall in love with. But we live in the fact that to love (and to be loved) is indeed the most magnificent thing on earth. Destiny or Fate is a mysterious word; is it factual or just creation of hopeless romantics who haven’t found “The One”? On the other side of Love, there will always be hurt because of such complicated things. But one thing is for sure, it is not Love that makes it complicated; People do. That’s why I am wondering how and where does this so- called “magic” begins. We all wanted to love and be loved but there are certain and uncertain things that we just can’t explain, how people can love and can hurt other’s feelings at the same time. We are aware that a man and a woman’s thinking are different. Men are said to be visual wherein there must be a physical attraction before falling for a woman. Women are said to be auditory, we tend to fall in love on what we are hearing. Although such descriptions are quite vague, I am not really sure. But I think the magic begins when your point of views either the same or different, tend to meet at one point where one is willing to compromise for the sake of another. Where there is giving more than of taking. Sacrificing but enduring. Where there is right timing and place wherein both parties are longing for affection and ready to give in for a serious commitment. Right time, right place and right person with the right self. As we grow older or rather mature, we have our own experiences and memories etched by time allowing us to create our own perception of Love. We have been hurt a lot but still no one denies the reality that one chooses to love and to be hurt than not having to love at all. Its always true that love makes the world go round. Mixed signals. The lack of trust, lack of time. The beginning of doubt on what’s really happening, like where is the relationship going. Obsession. These are some of the ingredients to create the tasteless thing called Complication. Nowadays where people have been blinded by immature love and have encountered countless hurts, those who have had enough have a tendency of not trusting and giving it all or saying what’s really on their mind. They begin learning about playing it safe making it more confusing and puzzling. The start of the arguing with the self and making a personal choice to either follow the heart or the mind. Waste of time, very tiring. Insanity and Paranoia at its finest! I think no matter what it is, we must not always rely on the sudden burst of our emotions and feelings because these are very fickle and changing. We must first know how to love ourselves until we realize that it is overflowing that we have to share it with someone special. Relationships are what life is all about so we must be careful with love. To avoid any regrets or expectations, it must come from ourselves. We must know what we truly want and not to make decisions at once that we tend to play with other people’s hearts. Remember that hearts are vulnerable. The best way to find a good relationship is not to look for it. Chasing love will only make it more elusive.